I feel a bit like the the father who never came back from the store when I return to Writing Darkness. My original conception of the site was for it to be simply a place where I could spill thoughts out of my head with no real concern for who was reading them. But then I had the misguided idea that perhaps I should treat it a little more professionally. After all, it is my author's blog.
That idea proved to be damaging to my productivity and the amount of words I've written on here. The last post was in February if the archive is to be believed. Trying to keep an air of professionalism is a little difficult for me. I'm chaos. My mind zooms back and forth from dick jokes to metaphysical explorations to the science of creativity to film studies to experimental narratives and a thousand and one other things. It's perhaps no surprise that I'm medicated for my ADD.
Instead of trying to be so professional, I am returning to Writing Darkness with the express intent of writing about whatever topic catches my fancy. I have some topics lined up that do mesh well with the previous posts and continue the professionalism theme but they're no longer going to be the dominating factor. Instead that factor is now simply myself, my wants and my obsessions. In all likelihood if you've found this site then you're a fan or friend of mine (or my mother) and so you'll have an idea of what you're getting into.
But to put the blame entirely on the misguided theme would be to discount just how fucked up 2020 has been, how much psychological damage my previous job caused me and a whole whack of other shit that has fueled Writing Darkness's swan-dive to obsolesce. In the coming weeks you can expect some discussion on the way that mental framing and self-image can harm productivity, as well as an honest look at my struggle with writer's block and how a return to the noble heart of creativity has helped me to patch myself back together.
Do you care? Who knows. Let's be honest, this is more for me than for you. Isn't it always?